The Situation

Someone did you wrong and put you in an awkward position. This feels uncomfortable, but it is an opportunity in disguise.

  • Confront the problem head-on. Think of all the things you can use this to practice: empathy, acceptance, peristance, courage.
  • Notice I didn’t say confront him head-on. There is a difference.
  • Place your emotions and your preferences firmly on the bedrock of WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.
  • Go back in that room and act with courage and nerve. Let his actions and words flow over you like waves crashing on rocks on the shore. They can never touch what is inside.
  • You lost some money. Forget the money. Deal with this problem and it will teach you lessons that you would gladly pay to learn. Dollar for dollar, it’s probably paid for itself already. Pretend the money is gone, never to return. Now make the most of the opportunity.
  • Apply amor fati. To not wish it was any other way. Not “this isn’t so bad,” but “YES. This is right. I love that this has happened.”

Does it make sense yet?

  • You acted today with dignity and courage already. Don’t waste your time wondering if this was a big deal or not. It is important to you, and that’s all that matters.
  • Remember that he and you both will be dead soon. None of this will matter. Neither of you will care and neither of you will exist. Whoever can wrap his head around that fact and feel it in his gut more deeply is the winner.
  • Most of all, remember that this conflict is a moment in your life. To deny it and to wish it were any other way is ignorance. To be ignorant to the reality of your own life is to deny your existance.

You already know what principles should guide your life– so go do it. Be the man in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and blood. Get embarrassed, humiliated, sweaty, angry, and flustered. Let him fight you, piss you off, tear you apart.

Because the alternative is to do nothing. Is that what you prefer?

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